SPECIAL REVIEW

 

The album mould has been broken: I’ve come across something that isn’t an album that sucks so much, I’m inclined to inform you, or hopefully not remind you if you already like the show.

When I occasionally watched the American version, half of the auditions was just hopefuls getting their spirits steamrolled and retards thinking they’re <insert famous dancer>.

Come the Australian version I thought, YES, now I might be able to meet one of these people in the street and laugh at them personally.

Yet the few times I’ve watched it I just become disgusted. So You Think You Can Dance Sucks. The auditions are so bullshit. Lets re-act a scene from the show.

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Dancer finishes some awesome routine, music stops.

Judge: Wow, I’ve never seen such a powerful dancer. Do you have a heartbreaking tale to tell us?

Dancer: No, why? I love dancing and my life is great.

Judge: Failure. Go home.

 

The next dancer comes on, some fat bitch comes on that couldn’t tell between twirling and a twix bar. She clearly sucks ass.

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Judge: Well, I’m not seeing much momentum in your dance career. Tell me a bit about why you wanted to dance.

Cue depressing piano music

Dancer: My..my little brother scraped his knee..he..*sniff*.. it’s turned into a scab. There…there could be an infection if he picks at it. He means so much to me. I’M DOING IT FOR HIM!

Judge does the same obvious bluff they do for everyone, implying that they didn’t make it.

Judge: YOU’RE GOING TO SYDNEY!

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Wow, I’m so touched that I almost forgot that this show is called So you think you can dance, not So you think you can tell an emotional story. I wouldn’t be suprised if a vegetable made it to sydney, all they’d have to do is be placed on the floor and wait for the pity to flow.

American version: How could you stand the show with this chicks infuriating, cringing smile and laugh.

10/10