Along with some of pioneering bands of thrash metal in the 80’s and 90’s, Slayer and their classic “Reign in Blood” is seen as one of the key thrash albums in the history of metal. Pfft. All the tremelo riffing is incredibly repetative and unoriginal and it’s hard to even realise when the song has ended.

“Angel of Death” is by far the greatest song on the album, and every other song kind of follows its structure. Infact, I could probably choose any song to ‘the greatest song’, they’re all so similar. That’s where it fails as an album, you become so weary listening to it all at once since your fed up or all the random solos and repetitive riffing. The only song which breaks this mould is Raining Blood, a classic in metal.
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None other than Yngwie Malmsteen - the arrogant, donut rejecting / flight attendance abusing idiot. Yngwie’s ‘Alchemy’ wasn’t chosen for a particular reason other than it’s one of the only albums of his I haven’t yet deleted for some reason.

It was cool that Yngwie revolutionized shred in the 80’s…and cool that he maintains his style throughout the ages…the only thing that doesn’t end up being cool is his music.
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Unlike Red Hot Chili Pepper’s ‘Stadium Arcadium’, or Angels & Airwaves ‘I-Empire’, at least this band isn’t delusional enough to see that their album blows hardcore. Stratovarius’ guitarist/producer Timo Tolkki said in an interview in April 2007 that “He didn’t like this album because it wasn’t their style at all, and it was made totally wrong”. That’s probably the album’s biggest merit. Not really being a fan of Stratovarius in the first place (Elements is just corny to me), I was reluctant to listen to Stratovarius self-titled album after a friend recommended it to me.

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Those girls aren’t having fun dancing. They’re laughing at you for buying this album.

For starters, I’m a pretty mainstream kind of electro/house person. I haven’t really bothered to look for quality less-known music of the genre, I tend to just get whatever my friends tell me to. I hate people like myself.

But from what I DO know of, I can gather this: The Annual 2008 from Ministry isn’t worth the cover it’s packaged in. I’d rather sit in a circle of pretentious old prudes talking about knitting socks than break it down to this sorry excuse for a dance album.

I haven’t done this yet - but let’s do it track by track. Or until I’ve proved my point:
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THE band that got me into metal - none other than the fantasy geeks: Blind Guardian.

THE album that made me even more ashamed I love a band that wanks over Lord of the Rings: A Twist in the Myth. At least I still have all my Forgotten Realms Drizzt books.

In previous albums, singer Hansi Kursch aggressive tone was a great asset, or even in classics like ‘The Bard’s Song’, his voice was natural in the sense that you could taste him sitting around a campfire in the middle of a forest in the middle of…middle-earth. Tastes like red-bull.

Unfortunately, The band’s taken a turn for the worse, heading more in the epic-symphonic metal sort of direction. Recently, Thomas Stauch, Blind Guardian’s ex-drummer from the band’s inception till A Night at the Opera has left them for ‘musical differences’.
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By now, you might’ve heard Calvin Harris hit single ‘Acceptable in the 80’s’ . It’s a pretty sweet song - unfortunately, it’s the candy you eat before someone tells you it came from sheep semen. In this context, the sheep semen is Calvin Harris’s debut album, except much more salty and even stickier.The album is plagued with poor instrumentals, cringy lyrics, recycled riffs and a lame-retro vibe.The whole album apart from a standout track is factory-churned electro. I just couldn’t help but get the impression he just couldn’t be fucked making quality songs on his album and rather went on image and the success of his singles, ‘Acceptable in the 80’s’ and ‘The Girls’ instead. Continue Reading »

A few years ago when I started getting into metal, Opeth were one of my favourite bands to begin with.

Although I don’t really see the similarity, a lot of people recommended In Flames to me because of it. Supposedly, ‘The Jester Race’ is an album which epitomises the ‘Gothenburg’ style of metal.

If this is seen as a classic I wouldn’t wanna know how an ‘average‘ Gothenburg album fairs.

Since everyone was making romance explosions over this album, I listened to it keenly trying to hear what exactly was so boner-enducing. Jesus, most of the time I got distracted by my grandpa gardening outside, who managed to be more arousing.

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Tom Delonge was once my idol - how embarrassing. I’d kick my 10 year old self in the face if I ever went back in time and saw him.

He was a tool when he was in Blink-182, but occasionally could be entertaining with poo and dick jokes.

Suddenly now since the formation of Angels and Airwaves, he reckons he’s Jesus, but without carpenting skills and much, much more of an asshole.

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I really, really tried to like this album. The plot, the special guests, as well as Ayreon being on the fore-front of progressive metal, it just sounded perfect to me. I was pretty dissapointed.

One of the biggest let-downs of the album is the female vocalists featuring in so many songs. I liked Ayreon’s Star One project, except the female vocalist(s) on there felt kind of over-used and awkward too. Compared to other Ayreon material, particularly ‘The Human Equation’, ‘01011001′ really doesn’t sound too different.
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I’m sure most of you weren’t even aware that a crazy frog album existed. I’m sorry to inform you but yes, it does.
I thought I could get away with the review on this album simply by mentioning it was by the ‘crazy frog’, yet upon listening to the album, I found more real justification.

The whole album is - wait before I go on, did anyone ever realise about crazy frog’s little chode? No one I ever mentioned it to noticed. Eventually on commercials, they censored it, though I’m skeptical whether it was actually censorship or for attention.
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