Angels & Airwaves - I-Empire Review
Tom Delonge was once my idol - how embarrassing. I’d kick my 10 year old self in the face if I ever went back in time and saw him.
He was a tool when he was in Blink-182, but occasionally could be entertaining with poo and dick jokes.
Suddenly now since the formation of Angels and Airwaves, he reckons he’s Jesus, but without carpenting skills and much, much more of an asshole.
‘I-Empire’ has very similair dynamics to A&A’s first 2006 album ‘We Don’t Need to Whisper’. U2 influenced melodic guitar and keyboards soaked in delay for an atmospheric effect, terribly corny ‘you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it’ style lyrics and of course, Toms eternally nasally lisp-tastic singing.
It might make a decent song once (The Adventure) but repeated everytime, it gets older faster than a yo-yo craze. (More original analogy coming soon).
Examples of the fucking shittest simillies and metaphors in the history of music can be heard in the lyrics of ‘Breathe’ in ‘I-Empire’:
Your breath’s like wine,
And just like clouds, my skin crawls.
- a) Wine smells like crap.
- b) Who the hell has ever heard of clouds ‘crawling’.
It’s bad enough you secretly like Angels & Airwaves, why embarrass yourself by letting everyone else know.
Another flaw is Tom’s lack of vocal diversity-whether it’s cause he’s a bad singer or just doesn’t want to diverge, On songs like ‘Rite of Spring’ which recounts his life as a teenager and forming blink, he still sings plain and nasally when he could sound angry or anticipative.
Let’s screw the actual album, There’s enough quotes from the fool himself to make a justifiable review alone without reference to the songs.
The only thing worse than an album that sucks is when the artist talks up their shitty album, in this instance frontman Tom Delonge stating:
“Right now, I’m a song and a half from finishing the greatest album of my career, and I swear it’s going to be something that will compete with the greatest rock records of all time”.
“Within two years, we’ll be the biggest rock act in the world.”
“(On Angels & Airwaves) If you slam Pink Floyd, The Cure, the Police and U2 together with me singing”
I seriously don’t know what that last claim inparticular would achieve. Anyone retarded enough to enjoy Angels & Airwaves probably haven’t even heard Pink Floyd, and on the other hand, It just fuels hatred in Pink Floyd fans for such a ridiculous comparison.
‘Rocks’. What Angel’s & Airwaves doesnt.
In a Kerrang! interview, in shameless promoting fashion, Tom also claimed:
“This is as exciting as rock ‘n’ roll gets!”
Maybe Tom’s definition of “rock ‘n’ roll” involves painfully emotive lyrics, poor U2 style riff’s and melodies and ‘bad music’ then yes; This is a great rock ‘n’ roll album.
Finally, Although unrelated, it’s always entertaining and satisfying to be reminded that there’s always one more person out there dumber you. This bullshit is related to Tom Delonges movie about the break-up of Blink and the birth of Angels & Airwaves.
“The film uses WWII metaphors to express the largeness of Angels & Airwaves. The deaths of millions of people is analogous to the impact that Angels & Airwaves is destined to make on our modern world.”
ahahahahaha
bahahahahahahaha
Nick W said:
Jan 08, 08 at 10:23 pmlol tom delonge was my idol till i was about 15. Infact, deep inside I still truly love him.
Lucy said:
Jan 09, 08 at 9:42 pmi agree, he’s turned into a right cock. i hate him now.
at leeds festival he was flagging people off in the crowd that had blink banners and t-shirts, what a dick.
& ava are shit.
Nick W said:
Jan 10, 08 at 11:23 amhaha ur a fag miek
dude said:
Jan 12, 08 at 8:09 amDUDE AvA KICKS ASS! IF U THINK HE SUCKS, GROW UP WHORE
John B said:
Jan 17, 08 at 5:39 amI agree that the album does sound like the same thing over and over when you first listen to it. However, in my case, the more I listened to it the more I liked it. Sure, Tom may give himself way too much credit, but I really do love this album. Oh and comparing the album to WWII is a disrespectful disgrace. But again, Tom can be a Dick and still make good music.
admin said:
Jan 17, 08 at 8:43 pmOne of the only smart comments on my site, congrats.
For many of the albums I love, I see many things wrong with them and wouldn’t deny it If I read a review like this. Respect+ to you for accepting my review and not being ultra-defensive.
Stephen said:
Jan 21, 08 at 5:12 amThis is a horrible review. If your gonna diss on Tom and AVA then you should actually talk about the album, not about all the dumb quotes he said. There is only about 2 sentences about the actual album. Tom is doing what he loves now, making mature music. Some blink-182 fans were just too immature to realize people grow up and apparently the reviewer is one of the many people that will never grow up. Sure, he said many dumb things about the album, but your not proving how the album sucks by saying that. You should just rename this site, albumsreviewedbyimmatureasshlesthatnevergrowupanddisstombecauseheismature.com
admin said:
Jan 21, 08 at 10:33 amCheers man, you just made my day: From my ‘About’ section:
“Ultimately, I’ve made this blog for 2 reasons:
Infuriating fans of the bands whos albums I review, who get offended by my immature and ignorant reviews.”
Also, only a dick-sucking fan of Tom would think of such a ridiculous and un-funny site name like that.
Fazcat said:
Jan 22, 08 at 11:18 pmstephen… you’re a pussy, if the best “punchline” you can come up with is this:
“albumsreviewedbyimmatureasshlesthatnevergrowupanddisstombecauseheismature.com”
Now, the line “becauseheismature” in there makes you look like more of a gaping vagina, waiting to take Tom’s dick like in your dreams every night.
cheers said:
Jan 27, 08 at 4:22 amthe album sucks, the guy sucks, everything´s been said.
and i loved blink so much about 10 years ago…
Jake said:
Jan 29, 08 at 3:09 amyah i agree, tom used to be the coolest guy it gave, but i have always liked mark a bit more, toms music is terrible and his hair is gay, i think its stupid that he’s trying to forget of blink the greatest thing that has ever happened to him, but im hoping for comeback between the blink boyz
TomFucksYourSisters said:
Jan 31, 08 at 11:26 pmThis review is as bad as your existence shitbag! A waste of web space and totally moronic. Only a deaf fucking cretin would write shit like this about AVA. Ava are the shit, sure they are not as good as tom claims, but they surely are not as bad as you say they are, you low life turd handler in a fucking site.Get a fucking life dipshit, or even better, just end your fucking life.Shove those seven pieces of turd down your throat mixed with battery acid and that will do the trick. No one likes a wretced smartass wannabe son of a bitch. I hope you die, seriously.
TomFucksYourSisters said:
Jan 31, 08 at 11:28 pmFAZCAT, Tom fucks your sister
admin said:
Feb 01, 08 at 12:47 amFazcat’s sister is 2 years old. It doesn’t suprise me that Tom would go there.
You’re right, they’re not as bad as I say they are, I under-exaggerated.
People like me and this site because people like you leave entertaining comments for everyone to laugh at.
Thanks for making my site even better!
TomFucksYourSisters said:
Feb 01, 08 at 11:24 pmOh really? You found that to be amusing did you? Well then maybe you will be entertained witrh the song i wrote for you, maybe its what you faggots are into. Well here goes, I fucked your mother, i fucked your father, I fucked your faaaaamilyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
I hope you dont give it a bad review cause that would make me a sad fan of tom and then i would have to track you down and break a fucking chair on your worthless spine thus turning you into a worm.
TomFucksYourSisters said:
Feb 01, 08 at 11:27 pmFAZCAT, Tom STill fucks your sister, he doesnt care she’s 2.
admin said:
Feb 02, 08 at 5:48 amrofl. You make my day so much brighter. Yes, the song sucks too. What’s your obsession with fucking underage and old people? I guess you couldn’t get anyone your age anyway.
Kayleigh Morgan said:
Feb 02, 08 at 11:38 amAh thank you for this review, spot on I dare say!
Kristyna said:
Feb 04, 08 at 3:22 amI haven’t even heard the album, but I really enjoyed reading all these comments. You guys are lovely. Thanks
Fazcat said:
Feb 05, 08 at 12:07 amre:tomfuckshomelessmeninyourgutter….
man i dont care what you say about my sister, to be honest i dont give a shit about anything you say.
and im pretty sure you wish tom fucked you too.
listen to “AVA”-s music, tom is trying to do something im pretty sure…. but just falls about 300m down a cliff away from where he was trying to get, maybe if he was actually acheiving the kind of music thats supposed to “change modern music”. as far as an album goes this is weak. comparing his music to the police is just dumb.
it all starts from the first glance of the album cover, any modern band that goes for a picture of the lead singer 5x larger than any other member of the band, means that the singer is an ego-tastic douche…
Cassie said:
Feb 08, 08 at 1:07 pmI have this page bookmarked,
what a beautiful review.
Armin Samii said:
Feb 16, 08 at 9:12 pmI think this rates as the best review ever?
Butttt I have one question:
The last quote about WWII, I can’t find it anywhere online, so I’m assuming it was from an audio/voice interview (as opposed to text)?
Do you have a link to the vid/page it’s on?
admin said:
Feb 17, 08 at 2:41 pmSorry Armin, I have no idea where I got it from, I don’t remember. I was googling things like ‘Tom Delonge Quotes’ and ‘Angels & Airwaves release’ to find out information.
Armin Samii said:
Feb 18, 08 at 7:20 amWith a little searching, I found:
http://www.spin.com/features/news/2005/10/051004_angelsandairwaves/
Apparently, the quote is from the article writer, not Tom.
However, the quote “And it basically tells the story of the breakup of one of the biggest bands in the world and the creation of the world’s greatest rock band” is embarrassing enough for tom.
Anil said:
Feb 26, 08 at 4:23 pmBoth of the AVA albums have a lot of short comings,”We don’t need to whisper” in particular is very grating on the nerves sometimes with it’s overly simplistic keyboard programming, but I like to listen to them inspite of that every now and then, depending on my mood. That’s just how it is I buy a lot of different music and listen to it even if I don’t like it that much.
jepps said:
Apr 19, 08 at 12:10 aminstead of just talking of “bad albums” why didn’t you maka a blog where you talk about good albums?
this would be kinder to the bands and it will give other persons ideas of which cd’s they should buy instead of which they shouldn’t buy, maybe they would have liked the album you gave a bad reveiw but didn’t buy cause they didn’t want to waste money on a “bad album”
jesus said:
Jul 12, 08 at 12:15 amI don’t like ava, but you have no intellectual base in defining lyrics, whatsoever.
Lucy said:
Jul 28, 08 at 9:03 amNo its far funnier reading about a band that you have a hatred for. Tom decided to truly chuck away the band that got him way more credit and respect than crappy ava. I think we can all wave bye to a blink reunion after the way he’s been carrying on, the arse.
Lucy said:
Jul 28, 08 at 9:05 am& oh i listened, I tried, I just think the albums are weak and the comments he makes about them being so amazing are ridiculous.